It pays to obsess!

Posting from my iPhone again. Man I love this thing.

So I've been obsessing all day about my transfer tomorrow. Playing the "what if" game with myself.
Because, you know, who doesn't love a couple rounds of that *awesome* game.

I kept worrying that we'd get in there tomorrow and they'd put me in the weird little conference room again and tell me that all my embryos arrested. Ugh. Talk about a complete and utter nightmare. Then I got to thinking about my little frozen embie. Piglet's twin. And I decided that if we went in there tomorrow and the worst thing had happened, I would want to thaw that little angel and transfer him/her. I'm a genius! What a hell of a back up plan!

So I called my nurse to tell her about the plan I'd hatched in my head. She was so nice and said we'd have to transfer on day five but sure, no problem. She would let them know.

Not ten minutes later I see the clinic is calling me.

Ugh. I feel a pang in the pit of my stomach.

I answer.

It's the embryologist. I hold my breath.

She says my nurse came back to talk to her about my worries and my wish to thaw our other embie. She wanted to put my mind at ease.

So she peeked. Even though they never peek on day two.

And it is fantastic news.
All six are still growing and looking like really great quality embryos!!!!!!

W00t!!!!!!

Seriously I love my clinic. They are truly patient-focused and so exceptional.

Please send us all your good vibes, thoughts and prayers at 10:00 a.m. PST tomorrow. :)

Until then!

I'm either old or infertile.

I haven't stooped to the level of getting one of those 

M T W TR FR S SD boxes yet, but I'm close.  

Last night I forgot to take two of my pills.  

I'm so used to chasing them with shots and since I had zero shots yesterday (w00t!) it just plumb slipped my failing mind.

Hm.  Maybe I am old AND infertile. 

Would be just my luck.

One more sleep until my transfer.  So excited.  I hope my little darlings are growing away in their little dish.  

Tonight I am going to eat massive amounts of sushi and have one celebratory glass of bubbles.  Go me. :)

Musings on the IVF process and fertilization report

The thing that I love no, fascinates no, drives me completely stark raving mad (YES) about this entire IVF process is that it is science, but it's science with heart.  And in the words of A.nais Nin, "The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of, damnit."  Ok, I took the liberty to add that last word.  Sue me.

IVF is full of schedules and protocols and take this, inject that, do it at this EXACT time, ultrasound after ultrasound, and yet it is at the same time, full of the unknown. How will I respond to the meds?  Will this time be different from before? Will my embryos survive until day five? No one ever knows for sure which way it will go.  Not even the doctors.

And the results, if positive, can in many ways, complete your life.  

And the results, if negative, can ruin it.  

That of course, is very black and white. Figures.

In any case, I got the call from the embryologist this morning.  

We have SIX!  

Six out of ten fertilized and are, God-willing, on their way to becoming eight-celled wonders by Saturday.

Six embryos growing in a petrie dish with our name on it.  

And that, my friends is why we call it science with heart.  My heart is on that petrie dish for all the world to see.  

Can't wait for Saturday.  

Lyrical captions

"Oops, I did it again."

"Do you really want to hurt me?"

"If we didn't laugh, we would all go insane."

I made Mr. K (the artist formerly known as DH) wear pink in solidarity.  Matched my custom-made, pink stripey, monogrammed hospital gown.

Oh no, she diiiiinnnn't.

Oh yes, I DID.

The nurses say that no one before (I did this back in '07 too) and no one since has ever brought in their own hospital gown. "You're an original! A legend!" she said.  

Then she said, "Now squeeze the sperm, you're going to get a poke."

And then I said, "Wait.  I thought we were doing IVF."  

Bahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa

Forgive me, it's 4:00 a.m. and I am really, really ridiculous.  

The Dream Team

I'll get to the details of my retrieval in a second, but first I wanted to talk about my RE's clinic.

I love the people at my clinic.  Really and truly.  I wrote about my deep affection for this place and it's peeps a few months back.  You can read that post here.

Today they showed me once again, why they are exceptional and how they have earned my full trust, respect and friendship.  

After the receptionist saw how visibly shaken I was after learning that Dr. Famous and NOT Dr. Dreamy would be doing my retrieval, she apologized profusely that no one had told me of the change in schedule.  

Of course at that point my eyes started to tear up as I tried to explain why it was so important to me that Dr. Dreamy be the one to do the retrieval.  It's not that I didn't believe in Dr. Famous' abilities, he is in fact, a genius, but I have worked my entire schedule around Dr. Dreamy doing this procedure.  If he had missed every other step but was there for this one, I would still be OK with it.  For me, the retrieval is the most delicate, key piece of this entire process.  

At that point the receptionist told me she was going to email the nursing staff about this.  Then I heard murmurs of "call Dr. D" and "just tell him about the situation."  

Next thing I know, I hear the receptionist on the phone with Dr. Dreamy and after she hangs up with him, she peeks over to me and says "We made it right. Dr. Dreamy is going to come in and do your retrieval."  

And then I started crying again.  

Next, my favorite "back of the house" nurse came to get me and told me that they were all so excited to be there for me and knew that it would NOT fly not having Dr. D do my retrieval.  One nurse even told me she saw it on the chart this morning and had already started raising hell about it.  So all forces were working in my favor! They know me back there and they like me too, which helps. :)  Apparently Dr. Dreamy had wanted to do my retrieval but there are some office politics about it and he didn't want to step on Dr. Famous' toes.  That Dreamy, so polite!  

Anyway, so I had my Dream Team there with me and I felt so happy and at ease.  I could not have asked for more.  

And now for the other big news - my retrieval numbers!!!  

WE GOT TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

TEN PLUMPY EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

GIMPY and LAZY MADE ME TEN GOOD ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And now we wait for the call from the embryologist tomorrow about how many eggs fertilized.  

What a crazy, emotional and wonderful day it's been.  Thanks for your support everyone!!!!  I can feel it pulsing through the air and it is amazing.  YOU are all amazing. 

xoxo

PS - Feeling crampy and sore post-retrieval but took my Tylenol and going to take a snooze while dh watches the Piglet for the day.  I'm a lucky girl.

Curveball

Never posted from my phone before but I thought I had to. I'm sitting in the waiting room crying right now.
Why?

Probably a silly reason. But. Still.

So I can't post the link to it but way back when I had just learned of my cyst returning, I was debating about the timing of my cycle.

All of it hinged on Dr. Dreamy's schedule. I could've proceeded with another RE but I have such a good relationship with Dr. D that I chose to risk my cyst and wait until now. All because I wanted no NEEDED Dr. D to do my retrieval.

It was a given, right?

I just walked in to discover that Dr. Famous will be doing my retrieval.

Hence the crying. I have never shed one tear in this office before.

Dr. Famous is amazing, truly. But he's not my dr. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know how difficult my retrievals can be and he isn't as vested.

I was not prepared for this curveball. I friggin' hate surprises.

That's right.

It's what you think it is.  

THE squeezie thing.  Not just any squeezie, but THE squeezie.

No I did not steal it, but I told the phlebotomist I was going to.  I told her you all were egging me on to do it. 

So she said, "you can just have it."

And then she said "Wait, here's a new one. Take this one."

And so I did.  I could not believe my good fortune!

Then I left and took this triumphant picture of myself in the stairwell.

I had to hurry in case someone realized what had just transpired and came after me saying "excuse me, but please return the giant sperm to our office."

My expression is fierce, isn't it?  I am not looking great, but a fierce face can carry you a long way.

It's hard to take a self-portrait with an iPhone but this moment had to be captured for all time.  

Good thing I had the place all to myself or I might've had some 'splainin' to do.  

T-Minus 14 hours until my egg retrieval tomorrow.  

I've got my squeezie and I'm ready.

Bring it. *****UPDATED*****

****UPDATE*****

Just got the call. My E2 levels were great at 2070 so we are pulling the trigger tonight at 9:00!  Go in tomorrow for a blood draw to confirm I triggered (because there was suspicion I did not trigger my first cycle). Retrieval at 8:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning.  Omg, I am so nervous.  I think I might hurl.  Eeeeeek!  

I had another appointment this morning.  I told Dr. Dreamy we really had to stop meeting like this.  He laughed and put a soothing hand on my shoulder.  

{insert schoolgirl sigh}  

My follicle counts look pretty good.  Not great in comparison to my last two cycles, but for this one, pretty good.  I've had to adjust my outlook.  It's a good thing.  

So today I had five follies measuring between 20-22.  The other ten were between 14-17. We're in a bit of a pickle because the five that are ready are *really* ready.  If we coast one more day on stims to get the other ten to plump up, we risk the five that are "plumpier" (Dr. B coined that term and yes it is extremely technical) being "overcooked."  Get it?  

As of this moment, I am scheduled to trigger TONIGHT at 9:00 (right in the middle of The Bachelorette FINALE, how inconsiderate)!  Dr. D wants to take a look at my hormone levels, talk to the other REs in the practice to see what they think and then let me know for sure later today.  

I bet that I trigger tonight.  My E2 levels have been steadily rising and I bet they are just about right today. I will update this once I hear from them, which should be in couple hours.  

I say BRING IT.

Mama is READY.  

In preparation of my trigger, retrieval and transfer, I went out and got the necessary provisions.  Not an IFer and don't know what the hell is up with the pineapple and grape juice?  Read about it here and here.  Probably old wive's tales but can't hurt, right?  I ate tons of pineapple the weeks before I got pregnant with Piglet and look where that got us.  :)  

Stay tuned...

To lurk is to love

I just wanted to send a shout-out to my lurkers friends who read my blog and have been so supportive of this entirely stressful, emotional, amazing, miraculous process. Thank you for (silently) cheering me on and for your direct messages on Facebook and Twitter.  Even though you don't publicly comment, I know you are there and that means so much to me.  Thank you.

And to the more vocal peeps, every comment, every LOL, every little word means more than you can possibly know. The thrill of publishing your comments doesn't wear off! I am so grateful to you.  

And last but not least, thank you especially to my local friends who have offered to come play with Piglet, bring me food or keep me company during my upcoming bedrest, friends who have checked in on me, called or emailed asking how my appointment went or how I am holding up or simply to say "I'm thinking of you!"  What would I do without you?  From the bottom of my (pharmaceutically stimulated) heart, thank you so so very much.  I cannot say it enough.

You are are all miracles in my life.  

And here's to a week of more miracles to come.  

xoxo,

Miss MVK

Inch by inch

Actually, it's millimeter by millimeter, but who's counting?

 

Oh wait.  

I am. 

Today's check-in was another meh.  Not great, not terrible.  We are slooooowly getting there. Dr. Dreamy counted ten on the left side, measuring between 11.5-18 and five on the right side, measuring between 8.5-14 with one big one measuring 17.  They like to retrieve when all follies are between 18-20mm.  At a bare minimum, they will retrieve if there are three in that range.  I will have that, but I really need more to have a chance at success.  If I had easy retrievals and knew that these counts and measurements actually represented what would be retrieved next week, I would be happy, very happy, with these numbers. However, I have extremely difficult retrievals, the kind that have Dr. D. stressed and worried to the point that he doesn't even want to talk about transfer until after we have crossed the retrieval hurdle so...there you have it.  On the upside, my E2 (estrogen) numbers are rising in a nice, steady, predictable way.  Today it was 1108.  I realize that means nothing to many of you, but to Dr. Dreamy and to me, it means that my body is responding to the meds.  A very good sign.  

Deep, deep down, I have a feeling all this will be okay.  I have a feeling that my retrieval, while not record-breaking will go alright and will yield *some* eggs to make into embryos.  Maybe not in the double digits, but SOME.  Over the past few days, my dh has been reminding me that "it only takes one."  And he's right.  So very right.  Just one will do the trick.  

I'm beginning to talk myself down from the "bummerness" (I am so copyrighting that word) that has permeated the last few days and letting myself get excited about the upcoming week.  Because folks, it's a BIGGIE.  

I go in again on Monday to see Dr. D for another check-in (btw, he called me 'young lady' today and I am positive I blushed.).  The nurse said that I would probably trigger on Monday or Tuesday (my bet is Tuesday) and then 36 hours later (Thursday) I will have my retrieval.  Three days after that we will do our embryo transfer.  

OH MY DEAR GOD.  

Our embryo transfer is a week away.  

In one week I will be PUPO - pregnant until proven otherwise.  

And that is devastatingly exciting.

How (in)appropriate!

Today at my blood draw, I as always, reminded the phlebotomist that I have very fine veins, so would she pretty please use a butterfly on me. Then I asked for the squeezie thing because I like to have something to grip.  In the past I've been handed an assortment of different shapes - a globe, pancreas, golf ball, etc.  Today, she says to me, "Sorry, my globe disappeared, so all I have is THIS"  and thrusts this white thing into my hand. It took me a second to realize what it was.

I almost cried I laughed so hard. In fact, I may have cried. Who knows these days. Then I announced that I had to take a picture of it to post on my blog and possibly Facebook.  She humored me but I think she thought I was a little nutz-o. I probably am, but what the hell. I am positive the people on the other side of the wall were wondering what I could POSSIBLY need a picture of from the blood draw station!

Laugh WITH me!  You know you want to! 

Channeling my inner turtle. ***Updated***

So far this has been my morning:

Say out loud three times in a row. "Slow and steady wins the race."

Breath deeply.

Rinse.

Repeat.

My appointment today. Meh. There was some progress but my numbers are well behind where they were two years ago. Even Dr. Dreamy commented on it. I heard him let out a LOUD SIGH while doing my follie count on the right side. Bugger. My lazy right ovary perked up a little, he counted five follicles measuring between 8.5-14.5. Left side counts were 11 between 11.5-15. So we are slooooooowly making progress, but anyone that knows me knows I am not a patient person.

Usually I want it and I want it now.

I don't expect anyone to go GET it for me, perfectly happy to go fetch it myself, but waiting is not my strong suit.

Excuse me while I repeat my mantra again.

{Slow and steady wins the race}
{Slow and steady wins the race}
{Slow and steady wins the race}

Deep breath.

Sorry. Where was I? Oh. I am now waiting for a call from my nurse to report my estrogen levels for today. On a positive note, my lining is rockstar worthy again. 8.5 with a triple pattern. Now *that's*more my speed.

Will post an update if there are any changes to my meds...if my E2 levels are still a little low, Dr. D might up one of my doses again. Sigh.

*******UPDATE*******

My estrogen (E2) levels did rise to 690 in normal range, but they are still increasing my meds. I will now be on the maximum dose of one of my meds. Suuuuuuuuper. I go in on Saturday morning bright and early at 7:45 for another check.  It looks like my retrieval will be on 7/30 and transfer on 8/1.  It will be here before I know it, I just hope these follies grow a TON in the meantime!

The wisdom of Dr. Seuss

Every night I read Piglet somewhere between three and six books before bedtime.  I know, I spoil him. :) At least one of those books is always a Dr. Seuss book and if I get to choose, it's always "Oh the Places You'll Go."  I've read it so often, I very nearly have it memorized.  

Tonight as I read each page, one verse stood out to me:

I'm afraid that some times

You'll play lonely games too

Games you can't win

'cause you'll play against you.

I'm must say that I very much feel like I'm engaged in a competition with myself. And I hate it.  This whole IVF process has been much more emotional than I had anticipated. I'm a bit of a wreck.  Yes it could be the meds, but it certainly feels like authentic emotion.  

Today I had my first appointment since starting my stims.  Originally I had expected to have lost some ground since my last cycle was over two years ago.  But then things were going so well, just the same as last time...so I let myself believe that all would go just as before.  

My left (gimpy) ovary continues to be the absolute work horse, producing 11 follicles that are growing beautifully, all measuring between 7.5-8.5. Perfect.  My right (normal) ovary is lagging behind.  Dr. Dreamy had a hard time even seeing the follicles and the five that he was able to see are not growing appropriately, measuring only between 4.5-5.5  Now I know that 16 sounds like a lot of eggs.  And it is.  But I have infamously difficult retrievals and my embryo quality can be only so-so, so it is all about numbers for us.  Of 16 mature follicles, Dr. Dreamy might only be able to successfully retrieve 9-10.  Of those, only eight might fertilize and of those only three might make it to day three, leaving us with none to freeze. And that's the GOOD scenario I'm running through my head.

Because of my lagging ovary and lower-than-before E2 levels, Dr. Dreamy has DOUBLED my meds. You heard me.  FUN X TWO.  And let me tell you, that is going to do WONDERS for my bruises. I can't quite figure out why I am so down about this turn of events, but I think it is mainly because I am in this fierce competition with myself to at least TIE with my last performance.  

Ridiculous.

I know. 

This game is most definitely a game I cannot win.  Dr. Seuss certainly knows his audience.

Anyway, I go in again on Thursday for another follie check and I am praying that my numbers will rise by then.  Until then, back in the saddle, extra shots, more hormones. Oh the places I'll go!  

Another one of these will make all this worth it, right?  

P.S. - Dr. Dreamy and the nurse both gasped when they saw my bruised belly.  Dr. D. even asked to see it again he could not believe it was so bad.  

P.P.S. - You all know I was JOKING about the I heart IVF t-shirt right?  Puh-leeze!

Black and blue is the new black!

No beating around the bush. The shots this time are brutal.  I don't know if it is user error or what, but OH. MY. FREAKING. HELL. They hurt going in despite ample icing and then immediately swell up or form hematomas which then become huge black and blue bruises. Then the swelling from the a.m. shot sticks around all day and through my evening shots. And do not get me started on the burning. 

Let me tell you it is one big awesome party over here.  

I used to think I repressed how bad it was, but now I just think that it was never this bad before.  I'm pretty sure I would remember.  Just like I still remember that labor pains hurt like hell.  And yet I am amidst re-living the pain of one so that I can have the joy of re-living the pain of the other.  Oh the irony!  

I go in Tuesday to see how my follies are growing.  I cannot wait to continue this uber fun game of HURRY UP AND WAIT. 

Oh I better go, it's getting late and I need to finish Bedazzling my 

"I HEART IVF" t-shirt in time for my next appointment.  

P.S. THANK YOU Cartside for the blog award! I am working on that post!  My first award, I am so honored (taking bow)!!!  

WOOT!

I can scarcely believe it, but...my cyst is GONE!  

Adios Amigo!  

Chowmein Noodle!  

I don't even care if you come back just so long as it is after I have safely added another piglet to my pen.  

So with my cyst being SAYONARA and all, that means I got the green light to start my stims (gonadatropins) on Saturday!  Hooray!  Sorry for all the exclamation points, I'm just so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My lining looks great and I have 11 resting follicles on the left side (gimpy side) and seven on the right (normal side).  Go figure.  I asked Dr. Dreamy how many follies I had my last cycle (over two years ago) and they were 12 (left) and 8 (right), which makes me very happy about today's counts.  

I woke up this morning with a full on migraine, yakking and everything.  I literally drove to Dr. Dreamy's office with a cold Sn.apple bottle on my forehead.  After the appointment I felt SO relieved and the tension just lifted and my migraine is now just a dull headache.  We are two for two people!  

Let the games begin!!!!  

Thank you for the support.  

*confidential to Carrie in SEA - send me an email so we can keep in touch via email or facebook!*

Counting chickens

Tomorrow morning I go in for my suppression check.  In addition to checking my lining and antral follicle count at this appointment, they will also check to see if my ovarian cyst has grown. In mid May it was 3.8cm, and the one that I had to have removed at the end of January was 6.6cm.  If the cyst has grown significantly, my RE won't let me start my stims (to help my follicles grow) and I'll face surgery and losing my ovary.  Gulp.  If the cyst has remained the same size or even (miracle) gotten smaller I get the green light to start shooting up two more drugs starting this Friday.  Fingers crossed!  

So tonight, on the eve of this make or break dr.'s appointment, what am I pondering? You are going to laugh.  You *should* laugh.  In fact, I am laughing right now. Cracking up, can't stifle the giggles, tears coming out of the corners of my eyes.  

You get the picture.  

Of all things I could or should be thinking about, I choose the most frivolous.  Because I am ME.

I am picking out freaking baby names.  Talk about counting your chickens, people.  I am there.  Thinking up all the different scenarios and counting my little chickens. Jinxing myself?  I don't believe in that.  But ridiculous?  YES.  I know. And you know what I say to that?  

OH FREAKING WELL.  

If I have to give myself four shots in the belly and one in the arse just to get knocked up (and even then, no guarantees) I deserve to daydream a bit, right? 

Curious about what made my list?  Ok, I'm open.  I'll share.  But don't go stealing my names now people!!!  

In no particular order, though those of you that know me, know the front runners:

Caroline

Charlotte

Harper

Grant

Blake

Anderson

Davis

Wish me luck tomorrow! 

My wee babe is 18 months old.

SIGH. 

A. YEAR. AND. A. HALF.  

S I G H. 

I literally cannot believe that he is 18 months old already.  The time vacuum strikes again!  I swear I just wrote this post yesterday.  And now here we are, six months beyond that and I still get choked up thinking about Piglet being a year old.  Even though it is bittersweet to see him grow right before my eyes, I am so happy and proud of our little Piglet. He is funny and smart and in general, a wonderful little boy. We are thrilled and honored to be his parents.  

I think that the 18 month marker is a big one, not only because he's halfway to two, but because of the developmental leaps toddlers make at this point.  It is clear to us that Piglet can process and understand A LOT of what we say to him.  It still sort of boggles my mind when he asks for a drink, I tell him to go find his cup and he actually goes and locates it and then brings it back to me.  WHAT.  He has now surpassed the dog!  What did I say?  So proud.  Our child can fetch more efficiently that our hund! Oh the times they are a-changin'.  His vocabulary expands every day both with sign language and spoken words.  We're teaching him to spell his name (Reid) and he'll say "Arrrr!" "Eeeee!" and then point to himself.  LOL.  

Stats for month 18:

Weight: 24.6lbs, 25%

Height: 32 inches, 40-50%

Head circumference: 40-50%

Clothing: pants - 12-18/18-24 (used to be exclusively 18-24 but what with all this walking, his belly is disappearing), tops 18-24/2T, shoes 5-5.5.

A sidenote: Dr. says it's okay that Piglet's growth is tapering off...normal for toddlers to do this.  I sure will miss Piglet's chubby rolls. Tear.  Thank goodness for his ever-chubby cheeks that still give the illusion of fatness!

Piglet LOVES

• Tillamook Medium Cheddar Cheese.  FOREVER.  
• Fruit leather ropes
• Goldfish crackers
• Sourdough bread
• Kettle and Caramel corn
• Shoes
• getting to choose between two things (books, foods, shoes, etc)
• Kate, Will, Riley, Jacob, Avery
• parachute time
• Any and all Sandra Boynton books
• Dr. Seuss books (the looooong ones)
• bath time
• Thomas. The. Tank. Engine. It started with a little hand-held train that his cousin let him play with and has now grown into a full-blown obsession. Jeepers.
• Cars, trucks, trains, school buses...you get the picture
• Walks in the Kelty
• Playing in the park
• Saying "cheese!!!" for the camera
• Long snuggles on the couch
• Kissing other babies

Piglet is OVER

• Not being able to get to something, pull something open, etc. immediately.  If he has to ask for help, he's cranky about it
• The Dr's office.  He is SO on to us. 
• Closed doors
• Circle time at Gymboree...probably time to move up to the next level
• Being reprimanded.  Dh used a stern, booming voice "at" him and his lower lip trembled, he crumpled into a ball and wailed loudly.  'Twas very sad!
• Sitting still for a picture
• Doing things on command all the time ("mooooom, I'm not a moooonkeeeey!")

Side affects

I'm not quite a week into my IVF calendar and I am exhausted.  The last time I was this tired was when Piglet was a two months old and colicky.  I don't remember feeling quite so fatigued with my last two IVF cycles and I was working full-time then. Between the evil bcps (I take my last one TONIGHT.  Thank God.) and the Lupron shots, I am wiped.  Yesterday I noticed my first belly bruise and this morning a good 1/3 of the left side of my stomach is covered in a large red welt that stings. Yeesh.  In the scheme of things, all is going fine, it's all very manageable, but it is harder than I remembered it being.  My good friend repression has done such a good job!!! 

I think my sheer will to succeed the last cycle helped me to forget all these terrible side affects and just power through.  With that said, I'm trying to power through this cycle too and thankfully Piglet is being uber sweet right now.  Lots of hugs and kisses all around. While he is going through his own growing pains at the moment, he's my best little buddy and a great side kick.  So despite the side affects now and the inevitable ones to come, I think we all know what would be the best side affect of all. Here's hoping. 

Little bit of everything

First off, this post is not my best work. I am well aware.  It's muddled and random and contains a lot of exclamation points.  But, there are a lot of pictures which, as we all know, can be all-redeeming!!! (see...)

My posts are usually very focused and cover just one topic, but this one is a bit of a mish mash.  Forgive me?  I'm a bit of a mish mash lately...

Okay, it's official.  We've started our cycle - I toss back about five different pills a day and right now just one shot at night, but if all goes according to plan, that will increase to four shots per day in a little over week.  

Eek!  

Exciting!  

Nauseating! 

Pass the sharps container!

In other news...I have been doing massive closet purges.  But, in case you didn't know, I am the consummate sentimental mother.  I mean, I am really out of control. I keep everything. The other day I found myself trying to decide whether I should throw out one of Piglet's baby socks. There was only one because the dog ate the other one. It is brown argyle and adorable.

Of course I KEPT it.  

Because...he did wear it that one time with that one outfit and he was so cute in it and oh, I'll just squish it into this drawer and I know (!) I'll put it in his scrap book under "first sock the dog ate."  Genius!

SEE?  I'm sentimental to the point of silly.  Believe it or not, I'm not a complete pack rat because too much clutter bothers me, but I have a really hard time parting with Piglet memorabilia.  I know, I know. Rookie.  

Anyway, my darling, nerdy, awesome husband just installed a new MONSTER hard drive into my MacBook and so I was able to merge all my other photo libraries into my 'puter.  This of course called for a trip down memory lane.  

Come with me!

You know you want to!

It'll be fuuuuun!

Don't make me pull this car over!  

Allow me to share with you what I found in my treasure trove of photos.  Pictures of Piglet and our dearest friends over the past year.  

Oh. My. Holy. Cuteness.

Would you just LOOK at how little they were and check out how BIG they are now?  

I am getting verklempt.  

My baby. 

Our babies!  

Growing up!!!

Nooooo!

I need another one.  

The Piglet and Will series

five and two months respectively.

five and eight months

one year and 15 months

Why the heck is blogger underling all my text? 

The Miss Cutie and Piglet series

Eight weeks and two weeks

Five months and 3.5 months

17 months and 18.5 months

The Piglet and Miss A series 

Seven months and two years old

27 months and ten months

almost three years old and 17 months

The Piglet and Riley series

seven and eight months

11 months and one year

16 months and 15 months

You people make us smile.

Thank you so much for all your words of support and kind, generous words about Piglet.  You all (especially my lurker friends who were moved/upset enough to comment!!!  Thank you!!!) you made me feel so much better. 

Psssssssssht!  Oh WHAT?!   WHAT WAS THAT?!  I'll tell you what. That was the sound of our collective cans of whoop a$$ all opening in unison and raining down on Public Frenemy #1!  You guys are awesome.  I am so fortunate to have such supportive IRL and URL friends who are in my corner and love my Piglet.  

Because of you, I have re-thought what I had considered to be a powerless situation.  I now see that I have all the power - the power to extricate ourselves (myself and Piglet) from interactions with this person, the power to speak up the next time an insult is hurled in our direction

the

power

to 

simply

walk 

away. 

And MAN, it feels so good to have had this simple yet intense revelation.  Thank you again peeps.  You are amazing and wonderful and I see rainbows and bunnies whenever I think about how great you all are.  

PS - I also decided that I needed to stop thinking so much about this negative person and start focusing on the business of womb preparation.  T-minus two days until my first shot!