Friday, March 5, 2010

Peanut Gallery

Another uneventful week has passed at Maison Piglet. The babies are still doing great, fluid is plentiful, my blood pressure is perfect and ye olde cervix is still long and closed at 3.1cm. Other than the fact that my left hand now forms a permanent claw (thank you, PUPPPs), I'm having an oddly uncomplicated twin pregnancy.

Uncomplicated but uncomfortable that is.

And now, because I am a recovering infertile, I feel forever compelled to warn you that this post is going to start sounding like a big whine fest, which of course, in no way nullifies my extreme gratitude and happiness about the Les Twinks. Dems I love, I love a lot. But when you're two days shy of 34 weeks pregnant with twins, your body becomes a bit of a freak show.

Just sayin'.

Case in point: Sometimes, and by sometimes I mean -- whenever I cross the threshold of my front door and am seen, even for one second, in broad daylight, people look at me with what can only be described as a mixture of panic and fear. Comments I've gotten from everyone from the grocery store clerk to transients, include:
  • WHEN?!
  • How much longer?!
  • Are you having that baby RIGHT NOW?
  • You are enormous.
  • I can't believe you can walk around without falling forward.
  • I feel sorry for you.
  • I feel sorry for your husband.
  • Should you be eating that?
  • You must feel as big as a house, because that's how you look
  • BEAR DOWN!!!
More often than not, there's no comment, but people do a double take and circle around get a second look, slowing down to a crawl as they pass by. I. SWEAR. TO. GOD.

And to be honest, I just take it all in stride. Because I'll be the first to admit, I am *quite* the spectacle. I'm 5'3" and carrying ten pounds worth of baby around, not in a sling or an Ergo, but IN MY FREAKIN' SKIN. You do the math.

Sometimes, even when I'm just hanging around the house, I imagine what people would say if they were there to witness my daily impersonation of a Weeble Wobble. For instance, every time I roll from one side to the other and successfully dismount my (double pillowtop) bed on the first try, I hear wild applause, along with "Ladies and gentlemen, she did it!!! She stuck the landing!!!" Or when I make like a flamingo eating chinese food by balancing on one foot and using a chopstick gracefully lean over the counter to open the kitchen shades in the morning, I think "Damn, I'm good!" Most days I just constantly hear circus music playing in the background (dun dun duh duh duh duh dun dun dun dun dun).

And if Mr. K is around, he shows his unconditional love and support by simply pointing and laughing.


Cameron said...

Oh my gosh, you are so CUTE!!!

People are crazy, this we know.

JM said...

You look amazing, you are all belly! Gotta love the peanut gallery though. One wonders what empowers them.

Jess said...

You look really, really good!!!!

Sarah said...

Aww, I love this pic of you with sweet Piglet looking on. You look awesome and are doing great. xo

Anonymous said...

Love the picture!!!

Yes, we are approaching carnival sideshow proportions...glad to hear you are doing so well - I am so sorry that your PUPPPs started so early...

Amber said...

I think you look amazing! Definitely pregnant, but amazing! I never really noticed all the stares from people myself, but when I went out with my pregnant friend in the last couple weeks, I was shocked by the way people would stop dead in their tracks to stare at her. But really, when you think about it, it is kind of crazy. You've got TWO BABIES in there!!

Anonymous said...

I swear my tummy was that same size when 9 mo preggers with tweety -- you look so good whilst pregnant! Shelly

'Murgdan' said... I heart your pictures!

Anonymous said...

dude. you're so not big! ....or at least you must have been TINY with your first! :)

i'm the same height and feel like i looked much bigger than you.

and how cute is the little guy looking at your belly here? :)

Angela Milstead said...

no way, you look fantastic

Eileen said...

Thank you for warning me abut everything I have to look forward to. My OB seems to think I will go on strict bed rest at 26-28 weeks though, so I may avoid people looking at me like I am a freak show and be stuck flat on my ass for a couple of months. Awesome. LOVE your belly pics. You look adorable.

Sunny said...

I *totally* feel your pain. I guess because my uterus is now exceeding the 40-week measurement, my whole body is furious. I am sooo uncomfortable, and I'm just laying around in bed! I don't know how you function, but my hat goes off to you.

Oh, and you are adorable!

Love Letters To China said...

You look amazing! You really don't look that big... it's all in the belly where it should be. I looked bigger than you when I was pregnant with only one baby. I made the nurse stop telling me how much I gained because I didn't want to hear I went over the 200 mark.

Luckily once they're out your weight will drop quickly and you'll be back to normal in no time.

Love your pic with your little one looking on. Too cute!

Dr. A said...

You look wonderful! Pregnant bellies are beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the belly picture - I knew everyone would love it! ~JC