Saturday, August 1, 2009

And now we wait.

I want to begin by saying thank you to all of you for all your support over the past few days and especially today - transfer day.  If this works, it will be a triumph for all of us and if it doesn't, I'll know it was not for lack of love and affection from you all, my peeps.  Merci beaucoup!!!

I couldn't sleep at all last night, logging only 2.5 hours between 4-6:30 a.m.  Oddly, I am not that tired. I think all the adrenaline is still pulsing through my veins.  

Mr. K and I arrived at the clinic right on time and my friend and acupuncturist met us there.  While I was having my acupuncture treatment, the embryologist came in to give us the update.  

We had one eight cell, one five cell and three four cell embryos.  They were still growing and dividing. She rated them excellent, fair and the last three, as not great. So she wanted to know how many we wanted to transfer.  With Piglet we transferred four eight cell embryos and we had one baby so she wondered if we might want to transfer the same amount again this time.  

Mr. K and I had agreed to transfer three embryos awhile ago.  But when the embryologist suggested we transfer four again and even my acupuncturist who is normally conservative about this chimed in and agreed, we weren't sure what to do.  

We have always talked about multiples in an abstract way, as in "Oh my gawd, can you I-M-A-G-I-N-E."  

NOT "If we got pregnant with multiples would we reduce, what would we do, how strongly do we each feel about this?"  

As much as the idea of twins puts a lump in my throat, I am a strong believer in whatever will be will be.  I am fortunate that being a mother comes very naturally to me.  It's like breathing.  I was just born to do it.  I love it, live for it.  So while I know that there would be enormous challenges and I worry about how Piglet would be affected, I feel like I'm equal to the challenge if it arises.

What I didn't realize is how strongly Mr. K felt about NOT having multiples, even twins. So of course a debate ensued.  I was in favor of sticking to our original plan of transferring three.  Mr. K was entertaining the idea of waiting until day five and transferring two blasts.  Keep in mind, my embies are picky, they prefer to be with their mother and the last time we tried to go for day five it ended in one poor quality morula and one pre-morula.  Suffice to say, that cycle was not successful.  

I swear the poor embryologist was looking at us like - 

You guys, get your shizzle together already.  I've got your babies growing in a dish for pete's sake.  

Enter Dr. Dreamy.  Part reproductive demi-god and part marriage counselor.  He laid out all the stats for us, told us that yes, twins are definitely a possibility but in order for us to be successful at all, we will need to take a risk with transferring more.  I could tell he was wanting us to transfer three too.  Now we just needed to get Mr. K there as well.  After a few more minutes of discussion, Mr. K got on the "transfer three" wagon too.  The relief in the room was palpable.  When I refused asked nicely if I could please skip the V.alium, Dr. D. suggest we give it to Mr. K instead.  ;)

My poor turtle-like husband, he just needs time to get there, but he eventually does, in his own time.  

Here are our little darlings.  
Nice looking embies, don't you think?


Dr. D. wheeled me into the surgery area and we talked a little about what I was going to do while on bedrest (be awesome, read books, watch Flight of the Conchords - which just happens to be Dr. D's favorite show, we are so BFFs).  Then while we were talking I see the embryologist peek through the window and say to Dr. D. "they are all compacting!" 

It seems that our children already take after their father.  Need a little time to get there, but they eventually do.  

So in the end we transferred three embryos - one ten cell and two six cells, they had grown in the just thirty minutes we took to deliberate. The other two left were still growing and compacting.  I will find out about them in a few days.  

For now, for today, I am delirious with happiness that we got to go through this amazing process to complete our family.  Yes, it is emotional and painful, not to mention incredibly expensive.  But, on the upside, I am healthy, Mr. K is healthy, we are relatively youngish, we already have one darling child as a result of IVF and today, we were lucky enough to complete another cycle which will hopefully bring us one (two?) more.  

So many things can go wrong in an IVF cycle, as you already know.  Cysts pop up, hormone levels are too low, eggs don't mature.  A lot has to go right and very little wrong in order for you to even *get* to the point of transferring embryos.  But, we made it.  Just barely,  But we did.  

There is so much to be grateful for.  So very much.  

P.S. - This post would have been done much sooner but I was busy stuffing my craw with pineapple in between guzzling grape juice.  

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you. You sound ecstatic. Best wishes. Looking forward to seeing you soon. No luck with the recovering flash drive so it is better that we waited to meet up until after my course is over :) Thanks for the updates.

Jamie said...

Fingers crossed for you. Is it wrong for me to hope it is two so we can learn from each others experiences? :)

Meredith said...

What gorgeous embies! I've got my fingers crossed and am sending lots of "sticky vibes" your way!

Hugs!

Nicole said...

MM-I am so happy that things went well with your transfer. How great that they divided while you were chatting. That must be a good sign. Keep drinking that juice! Now the dreaded 2ww. Fingers crossed for you. :)

Anonymous said...

Nice looking babies! I think the one on the left looks like you!!

cartside said...

Wishing you all the best, fingers crossed and I hope it all goes really well! You're so brave to go through all this, I've already decided I couldn't should I not get pregnant naturally again, and I have every respect for anyone deciding to go through this difficult process. And be so positive as you are!!!

katell said...

I keep you in my thoughts and hope one of those twins will be a girl so I can send you lots of pink present ... :=) keeping my fingers crossed everything goes as great as it has gone until know.

katell said...

I keep you in my thoughts and hope one of those twins will be a girl so I can send you lots of pink present ... :=) keeping my fingers crossed everything goes as great as it has gone until know.

Carrie said...

CAAAAUUUTEE embryos!

I need not list the reasons why I like the number three, right? I am so happy that the babies-to-be are back inside, hopefully growing away! Eat some pineapple and give your tummy a pat from me! :)

Woo hoo!

Dr. A said...

I am misting up right now, I am so happy for you and Mr. K. I send you all the sticky baby vibes I can muster.