Monday, August 17, 2009

Limbo, the new staycation.

I went in for my second beta last Friday.  I had a feeling that maybe it wasn't going to be perfect.  Don't ask me how I knew, I just did.  When Dr. Dreamy called me (on his lunch hour, no less!) all he said was "Hi M. this is Dr. Dreamy, how are you?"  And I replied "I can tell you have bad news.  Just tell me."  

So.  My second beta did not double.  In fact, it didn't really even come close.  


A rise of 67.5.  

Dr. D. told me not to read too much into it, "could mean nothing at all" he said.  He told me he wanted to do another beta on Monday (today) and that he would want to see a number in the 500s by then.  

Of course I started freaking out, drowning my sorrows by buying Thomas the Tank Engine for Piglet and thinking of all the worst case scenarios.  I would not say I was devastated, because there was certainly still hope, but I was shaken to the core.  Just one more reason infertility is so frustrating. If I were a normal person, I would simply pee on a stick, see two lines, call my OB and make an appointment for when I was six weeks or so. There would be no knowledge of rising betas or doubling times.  

Knowledge is power, but it can also be a cruel instrument.  

Once I digested the news, I called in the troops, asking my closest friends and family to pray, send positive thoughts and cross every possible thing for me.  Everyone rallied around us and I am so grateful.  Their support and love made me able to continue functioning and try to keep hope floating despite the sinking feeling in my belly.

For the last 2.5 days I have been stewing.  Literally worried sick that my beta would decline instead of rise come Monday.  I put all the happiness and elation from previous two days on hold. I paid Limbo another visit.  Let me tell you, I have been there before, so often in fact, that they very nearly crowned me their queen.  

Today I brought my good luck charm, Piglet, with me for the third beta.  Despite waiting for over 30 minutes in the front and then a few more for my blood draw, he was an angel baby.  So charming and friendly to all the nurses, blowing kisses and roaring like a lion for them. :)  It made me hopeful that the rest of the day would continue going well for us.

And it has.  

Piglet set the tone and at 1:30 today I got the call.  

It rose. 

It more than doubled!!! 

To 623.

THANK GOD!!!!!!!  I swear that my sigh of relief could be heard across the globe.    

We still have a ways to go but we are out of the woods for now.  Ultrasound is August 27th, which will be a huge day for our family.  

P.S. - If you're wondering what Limbo looks like, just imagine a place that is filled with clocks, all telling a different time and none of them being the time you want it to be. Then make sure that all your food tastes the same and none of it very good.  Oh and add in insomnia every night and a foggy head all day long and you've found your way there.  


Kelly said...

I'm so happy for you! What wonderful news. Apparently all of the prayers worked!

Jamie said...

Sounds like a disappearing twin or triplet. My bet is on a strong singleton at your ultrasound with an extra sac.

I am so glad your number doubled! :)

Carrie said...

WAHOO! I knew it would be normal today. :) I love it when I am right.

Limbo! I live there, and yes, that is what it looks like. I never knew I could be so obsessed with a date in the future, and how far I am from it right now. For example, you say August 27th, I think 25w4d. You should dedicate an entire post to limbo!

Big hugs!

Sarah said...

Yeah baby!!! Congrats!

Meredith said...

SO glad to hear you had a strong beta today! Yippee!!

(Sorry I didn't send you words of encouragement over the weekend...I didn't know about the turmoil you were in.)

Can't wait for your ultrasound!


Nicole said...

I am so glad you got good news today. I was wondering how things were going for you. I think the previous comment about a disappearing twin makes sense. Hoping for a great US for you!

Megan said...

Glad to hear it! And sorry for the stress of the weekend. That stinks.

Anonymous said...


So glad that things are back on track for you and your family. Can't wait to hear how the ultrasound goes next week!!

And your Limbo sounds like my house. I never know what time it is here because ALL of the clocks have a different time. And Peanut still doesn't sleep through the night most nights so I'm awake all night and fuzzy-headed all day.

Good luck!


Simone said...

great number! and that is wonderful news!!!! looking forward to August 27th :)


Dr. A said...

Piglet and Lil' Kiwi will never ever know the depths of love their mama has for them.

until it's their turn to take a spin on the proliferation wheel.


Cameron said...

So so so happy for you. :) And I love your description of Limbo! Been there! :)

Deb said...

Congrats on your good news! I can't imagine the stress. Hopefully most of the hurdles are behind you.