The one you've been waiting for.

So, Father's Day was fast-approaching and though I wracked my (addled, sleep-deprived) brain, I was at a loss for inspiration.

Afterall, how would I *ever* top the Mother's Day gift(s) I'd been given this year? I mean, REALLY. How does one top that? I was faced with a mind bender.

During the week leading up to Father's Day (hereafter referred to as F.D.), I looked to my children for inspiration. Dems cute, dems full of ideas (especially that wiley two year-old) and dems who I spend most of my waking hours with. In between the shrieking (Piglet), spitting up (Twinks) and meltdowns (ALL), I searched for the perfect idea, but remained at a loss.

That is, until the morning before F.D.

I thought I'd capture Piglet on video giving a little tribute to his old man. You know, a little improv plus some "I wuv you daddyyyyy!" or "Appy Ather's Day Daddyyyy!"

Instead, I got this:

Pure genius! Just the inspiration I was seeking! My Piglet is such a clever little boffin.

So on this momentous occasion, Mr. K's first Father's Day with THREE children, I presented him with this:

Note that I sprung for the Ultra, Double Roll, jumbo pack with NEW Cotton Comfort. So posh!

And this:

Sorry for the poor quality, off-center picture, but hopefully you can at least make out the text.

Because we are all for saving trees, I went with a punchcard format instead of individual coupons. Next, I'm going to laminate it!

I also want to give a shout-out to all my hilarious FB friends who egged me on and suggested coupons for things such as nail trims, shaving cream and toilet scrubbing! Bahahahahaha.

Lest you think I am all about revenge and grudge holding (though you are mostly correct), let the record show that I did surprise Mr. K by booking him a 90 minute massage this morning.

Afterall, SOMEONE has got to lead by example around here. Before he departed for his massage, I reminded Mr. K. that this was not only a gift but ALSO a TEACHABLE MOMENT. As in -- I'm trying to teach you how NOT to screw me on Mother's Day again.

Because if you do, I guarantee you, your next F.D. will most *certainly* be more of an F.U.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY HONEY!!! THANKS FOR BEING AN AMAZING DAD TO OUR PIGLETS! LOVE YOU! MMMMMMMMWAH.

Vocabulary

As you can imagine, things get pretty, hm...hairy around Maison Piglets these days. As a result, Piglet has picked up some new vocab words and phrases. We're *sure* an early start on such a vast range of word usage is going to get him into Stanford someday. Here's a random sampling of his new words and phrases:

boob

boobs

shit (breaking my no blog swearing rule in order to maintain integrity)

pump

spit up

blech! (this one hasn't made it into Webster's yet, but soon, very soon)

I go to Target

Daddy at work

Daddy at office

I'm leaking!!!

coffee

babies waah waah!

Mommy - GO GET IT.

NOW.

shhhhh, quiet

I did it!

binky

burpie

tripwire

P.U.!

I pee pee on Esha! (Lisa, our nanny)

Mama sad

I sad

Mama happy!

I happy!

I'll let you draw your own conclusions as to how and why he learned these new words. Kinda like a Mad Lib but with more poop.

Stay tuned for my Father's Day post. Mr. K is getting the same royal treatment I got! He is *SO* excited! (Aren't you?)

Reward

Last week I logged onto my blog to start a new blog entry for the 674th time in two days. As usual, I started writing, wrote two lines and then promptly got interrupted by, well, you know, LIFE WITH THREE UNDER TWO or some lame excuse like that.

Somewhere around try number 539, I noticed that I'd gone from 63 followers to 62.

GASP.

I lost someone.

A reader!

A URL friend!

In the course of a week, someone who used to find me worthy of following, deemed me no longer worthy. And with one swift CLICK, the deed was done.

I was out of their life and feed forever.

They might as well have UNFRIENDED ME, that's how much it smarted.

I'll admit, I *might* have obsessed about it.

Just a little.

Just a teeny bit.

Just -- oh who am I kidding, you all know me too well anyway.

It was a lot.

Because even though I had twins ten weeks ago and can barely string together two coherent sentences, I still found the time to obsess.

Because I'm still, you know, ME.

(Sidenote: Go me! Way to retain your former identity!)

Then I got to thinking.

Wait! There are still 62 followers out there! Sixty two AWESOME followers! Who at some point said to themselves "Hey, this MVK is kind of psycho, OCD, entertaining! I think I'll stay tuned!"

SIXTY TWO PEOPLE STILL LIKE ME!

SQUEEE!!!!

(What can I say, once diagnosed, the prognosis for the Disease to Please is abysmal.)

Then I thought - I need to return the love! I need to show them I'm still here! I need to keep them laughing (and following)!

So here is the reward you all so richly deserve, for following along on what has become a somewhat sporadic recounting of our daily lives.

Aren't you glad you stayed?

I surely am.

P.S. Nursing moms and moms who have ever nursed, I know you know what those things that Piglet tossed over the bed are. Word.

P.P.S. Note Mr. K's guitar in the glider chair, yes, he's still strumming my pain.