So, if you're the jealous type...

You should skip this post.

Seriously.

Because it's gonna smart to read this one. A little. Okay, maybe a lot.

Especially if you have small children and are short on sleep.

Because my husband is all kinds of awesome sometimes.

And as I mentioned before, last year for my birthday, he told me to go away.

Without. The. Kids.

For FIVE days!

Not one to argue (ahem), I'm going.

TODAY!

And -- the best part? I'm taking my bestfriend with me. Five glorious poolside, coma-like-sleep, martini-stupor-filled and A&E movie marathon days. The weather's going to be hot like fire, but we honestly don't give a fart. Yep, I said fart. I live with four boys. It's part of our daily vocabulary. We are staying in a giant casita at a swanky resort and we have been waiting A YEAR for this vacation.

Correction. We have been waiting TWENTY years for this vacation, which is how long we've known each other, which is since we were 14 years old.

Annnnd now you know how old I am. Don't let it go to your head.

Presently I am running around like a terrifying organizer bunny with 'roid rage trying to get everything squared away before I leave at o'dark thirty tomorrow today. Curious what this involves? Want a sneak peek into the 'I dream of Container Store' brain of MVK?

Here's a sampling of what's on my list:

• Type up eight page user manual schedule for Twinks
• Fully stock fridge with the five items that Piglet will eat plus leafy greens for Mr. K.
• Clean and disinfect inside of suitcase
• Select outfits and make sure I pack the appropriate unmentionables to wear with each
• Pump, store in bags, date and freeze EXACTLY 262.5 ounces of milk, count it all again to make sure
• Send Mr. K an email reminding him of Piglet's classes and activities for the week. Also remind him to give Piglet daily vitamins.
• Double check and confirm hotel and car reservations
• Vacuum my purse

I sobbed a little as I bathed and put the Twinks to bed tonight, knowing that they will still be asleep when I leave in the morning so I won't have another chance squeeze their chubby thigh and kiss their round cheeks! As for Piglet, I told him I was going on a trip and he was staying home with Daddy for a few days. His response?

"Okay, mommy! BYE!!! I GO SEE CHOO CHOOS WITH DADDY! YAY!"

His little spirit was just CRUSHED as you can see.

Okay, off to check more things off my list. Only 3,842 more items to go.

HOLLA!