So, Mother's Day...

There are a thousand reasons why I fell in love with and subsequently, married my husband.

He is kind.

He is a good person.

He knows his way around a kitchen.

He is brilliant.

I'll spare you the remaining 996 reasons, but rest assured they exist.

However.

Because you *knew* there was a 'however' in there -- gift giving/purchasing is not his strong suit. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that he kind of sucks at it.

Kind of.

Fortunately, given some guidance and gentle direction (e.g. catalog pages ripped out and taped to his rather imposing eyebrows), he has been known to pull through critical situations. Without said guidance or direction, he's like a lamb to the slaughter. Because MVK loves her some presents.

They don't need always need to be grand or extravagant but I love getting trinkets from Mr. K. I also *adore* giving gifts. I'm that person who buys a gift in advance and then just can't wait until the occasion arrives, so I give it to the person early. I'm so five that way. The year the Wii had just come out and was impossible to get? I got my hands on one and lasted two days before I gave it to Mr. K even though Christmas was still two weeks away. The better the gift, the more excited I am to give it.

Mr. K? He could take or leave gifts (and occasions for that matter). Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays are all fine and good with him, but there's no thrill or excitement surrounding them. He enjoys getting gifts, but if all I presented him with on his birthday was a pair of socks and a peanut butter sandwich, he'd be fine. Grateful, even. The man is a nutter butter like that.

In the formative phase of our nearly decade-long relationship, I thought it was cute and quirky. For instance our first Christmas together, he got me the following:

• a spatula large and sturdy enough not only to flip pancakes, but perhaps also a snow tire
• a pair of leopard print, bootie-style Dearfoam slippers
• a pair of brown hairy socks

It was an inexplicable trio of gifts but I went with it because I was in LURV.

As the years have passed, I've accepted Mr. K's lack of enthusiasm in the gift giving department. Often, I just save him the trouble and say "Babe, I bought myself a birthday present from you. It's fabulous and thank you."

Sometimes he surprises me and of his own volition, does something awesome. Last year for my birthday (when I was 100 months pregnant with the Twinks) he wrote me the sweetest card and enclosed homemade coupons for a five day, kid-free getaway for myself and a friend. We've already planned a sunny vacation for the fall and I'm so excited!

But for Mother's Day this year, I didn't have time or energy to rip out pages of catalogs or send links to things I want online. In fact, there wasn't really anything I wanted or needed. But that being said, I'm still a WOMAN and considering I'd just given birth to twins, I figured it was an occasion Mr. K might spend a little time noodling. Just this once.

On Sunday, Mr. K and Piglet presented me with a teal blue envelope (not from Tiffany, don't get excited) and inside it was a card with the message "Warm Wishes on Mother's Day" imprinted on the inside. I should've known then that Mr. K was short on sleep and energy and this was not going to end well for any of us.

Mr. K wrote some nice sentiments on the card and signed it from he and the boys with a P.S. that read: "Coming soon are coupons for TEN SHOWERS! So you can shower anytime you want! Happy Mother's Day!"

DUDE.

SHOWERS.

S-to-the-H-to-the-OWERS.

As in to be used to BATHE MYSELF.

As in that was my MOTHER'S DAY GIFT this year.

Just to reiterate in case you are not quite sure what I mean.

Mr. K honored me, the mother of his THREE children, the woman who went to great lengths and innumerable pains to bear said children, with the gift of TAKING A SHOWER. And not just ONE shower, but TEN!

TEN WHOLE SHOWERS!

ALL FOR ME!

I MUST BE AN AWESOME MOTHER TO DESERVE SUCH A GIFT!

You can *imagine* how well this was received by my raging, sleep-deprived postpartum hormones.

"But, but, you are always saying how GREAT you feel once you've taken a shower in the morning! I thought this would delight you!" Mr. K was treading water like hell.

My thoughts? Apparently I should've repeated over and over how GREAT it feels to wear DIAMONDS everyday!

Or SMELL ROSES!

Or EAT CHOCOLATE!

Mr. K is a very literal person. Who knew?

You may wonder why I'm sharing this story since it's not a typical recounting of the Mother's Day. Because I want you to know it's not always bubbles and cupcakes at Maison Piglet. And while it wasn't funny at all at the time, it was funny as hell just one day later.

The next day I laughed until I cried because it was so funny.

The story is SO Mr. K; SO very US.

And while I might forget about roses or chocolate (but not likely diamonds, ahem), I will never forget the year I got showers for Mother's Day.

Thanks, Babe. You're nothing if not memorable!

Oh and Father's Day is coming up and paybacks are hell.