Time to go to the mattresses.

So those of you who follow my blog know I have written about a person in my life who is unkind to and about my Piglet.  We are talking *very* critical.  Of my ONE year-old. Of my parenting style. It sucks.  Every single time (seriously, every single time) I soften my resolve, let my guard down and think there is actually a real friendship there, I get an open-handed, Tina-and-Ike style smack across the face.  

The kind of slap that says 

SUCKER. 

Why not retaliate?  Throw a couple of sucker punches myself?  It would be, after all, my child I'd be defending.  It's not that I'm such a great person that I wouldn't go manu-e-manu with this person.  

Because I would. 

And I would win.  

Because I'm bold and honest.

Not terminally passive-aggressive.  

Like this person.

But here's the problem.  She talks smack about P-I-G-L-E-T and I refuse to stoop to that level.  Sure, I could talk up some shizzle about her tot.  But I don't and I won't. Because her tot is just that - a tot, a baby.  Babies are innocent, blameless. Not to mention that talking crap about a baby is way below the diaper belt.  

Did I mention that most of the digs and insults strewn at Piglet are about his physical appearance?  Not even digs disguised as compliments.  Just outright rudeness sometimes followed by an awkward giggle.

For the record, she is criticizing the little one below.

Can anyone tell me WHAT could be so objectionable about the baby pictured above? 

Does looking at his chubby cheeks and boyish haircut make you want to lash out at him or at me?  Does his eager smile make you want to say "baby, I'm not really sorry but you are unattractive"?  I know, it's that his favorite pastime is kissing other babies, right?

Anyone? 

Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Several of my real friends have weighed in on this issue.  They say that the meanness comes from some sort of huge freaking chip on her shoulder or not so deep-seeded insecurity about herself or her kid. Probably true.  In which case, I should feel sorry for her.  I should probably pray for her.  Too bad what I want to do is pull her hair and poke at her eyes.  

And I'm not saying my child is perfect, but he's mine and I love him and that should be enough for anyone not to take him to task at the age of ONE.  Seriously.  Who does that?

Sometimes I wish she would say mean stuff about ME.  Then I wouldn't hesitate. Not for a second. I could retaliate and say

Take THAT. 

SUCKER.  

Blogging PSA

One of the best things I've done was decide to approve or reject comments before they are posted to my blog.  I mean, I accept and publish 99% of the comments I get but every once in awhile I get someone sucky.  So let's be clear about something.  

I do not blog to be judged, judge others or accept unsolicited criticism.  I blog to share a laugh, share my story, archive moments in my precious baby's life.  

If you have something nice to say - thank you.  

If you have a question to ask - ask away!

But if you have something condescending, judgmental or terse to say (even if you put a smiley face after it), you can suck it.  Especially if you don't even have the cajones to attach your name, ("anonymous") then you can REALLY suck it.  

Thank you and this concludes the Piglet Blog's public service announcement.  Have a nice day.  Especially you, anonymous. :)  

Be gentle. Play nicely.

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much.  Really.  I wish I could blow things off and just say "that's just they way she is" or "I don't care what they think."  But the reality is, I'm a pleaser.  It bothers me when I hear through the grapevine that someone said something crappy or unkind about me.  I lose sleep.  

And if I hear that they said something about Piglet, well forget it. Then I'm kind of pissed.  Actually, I'm really pissed.  And hurt.  I mean, bag on me, but leave my kid out of it.  I know he's not perfect and after all, I coined the term "Shrieker" but that's to be used at my discretion.  Piglet is challenging but he's also sweet, funny, full of personality, and most importantly, he's mine and I would not trade him for any other baby in the world.  

Not even one that SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.  

That's right. Even if your child possesses the Holy Grail of all baby qualities, I still would NOT trade your child for my Piglet.  

One thing I've learned from being a mother is you just cannot pass judgement on another mother until you have literally mothered the same child.  And by the same, I mean genetically identical.  My best friend gave me great advice before I had Piglet (she's so good that way).  She said "don't listen to anything that anyone else tells you.  You have to do what works for you."  So along that vein - maybe you don't agree with my parenting style or (gasp!) that I let him sleep with me -that's right, IN MY FREAKING BED Y'ALL, but it's really not for you to say. Don't judge me. 

DO. NOT. JUDGE.  

Unless I call you every day and night and complain about my child and sleep deprivation and how challenging he is, don't start with me. Don't go there.  And don't dish about it to anyone else either.  That's just plain uncalled for.  And God-willing if we are fortunate enough to have another baby, don't trash talk that kid either.  When it comes to kids, just leave them out of it. Please. 

Do what we're always asking our kids to do - be gentle, play nicely.

Please don't make me lose more sleep - I don't get much as it is.  

I love a cute baby, but...

I don't need to hear how cute they are from their PARENTS all the time!!!  Don't their kids get enough compliments from friends, family and the general public to quell the desire to hear how cute their kid is?  Maybe I'm in a bad mood tonight (okay, I am), but I just have to rant about people who constantly compliment their own babies!  Sometimes you just can't help it, but ALL the time?  Come on now.  I mean, we all have eyes for our kids, but do I really need to hear how cute and totally brilliant your kid is all the time?  Do any of YOU want to hear about how cute and brilliant MY kid is ALL THE TIME?  I think not.  And even if you did, I wouldn't be able to oblige.  However, I am happy to dole out the compliments to your cute baby and if you think he's cute, you can compliment mine.  Seems like a tidy, fair and annoyance-free way to be the parent of a cute kid.  

Isn't there some sort of "etiKID" out there about this?  What would Emily Post say?