The diaper that was asked to do too much.

With three little piggies in the house, you can imagine how many diapers we go through in a day. And sometimes, because we are unaware or think the other person has already changed it, we let Piglet's diaper get a little (or a lot) too wet. Then one morning last weekend, Mr. K yelled down to me that Piglet needed new sheets on his bed. "Did you let him run around naked again?" I asked, "not mad, just curious."

"Nope, but he had two sippy cups of juice and I haven't changed his diaper since last night."

Oh for SHAME.

And as Mr. K removed last night's diaper, I heard him say "And here is the diaper that was asked to do too much." Hilarious.

And sometimes I feel like that diaper is a metaphor for me and my life. Except in my world, pee isn't the only burden I carry. Oh Pampers, you got off so easy this time, you have no idea!

But you know what? I asked for this. I prayed on my hands and knees for this. And I am not complaining. But you must admit, I AM kind of like that diaper!

Newborn twins. Check!

Demanding toddler. Check!

Traveling husband. Check!

OCD tendencies in relation to housekeeping, childcare and appearance. Check, check, check!

Though I have let that last one, "appearance" go -- better me than my babes.

Did you see that?

The subtle martyrdom that was implied just now?

Oh, I am SO officially a MOTHER.

Anyway, on to more important business...

The Twinks are thriving and doing so well. In the spirit of my original reason for blogging, here is their one month update.

Weights:

P-Babe (baby A) 6lbs12oz, birth weight was 5lbs9oz

G-Bear (baby B) 7lbs9oz, birth weight was 5lbs13oz

They gained 1.4 lbs each in the ten days from one dr. appointment to the next. W00t!

The Twinks LOVE

• being held
• having their backs patted (especially G)
• their binks, which is interesting since their big brother never really did
• getting their hair washed, G is more tranquil about it while P will sometimes get impatient
• snuggling close with their heads together, usually P puts his head on G's shoulder, it is impossibly cute

The Twinks are OVER

• loose swaddles, they are Houdinis and so I've been forced work on my origami skills
• sleeping all the time, they are awake and alert for several hours of the day
• burping, because spitting up all over mom's freshly washed coif is so much more satisfying

And that about sums it up. Dude, what do you expect, they're only a month old. But, it'll get more exciting, I promise. By their two month update, I am sure they'll have gotten their 12x tables memorized. (Do kids still memorize their Xs tables?)

Sorry for the boring post but since I am a consummate loser with their baby books (same with Piglet's), this is only place I record stats!

So now I'll put you out of your boring blog post reading misery and post some more PICTURES!

Can I get an AMEN?

Word.

And now you know their names...but don't let it go to your head.

P.S. - I have 39 followers, nothing to write home about, but still, my small army is very meaningful to me! However, the fact that 39 is not an even number is making me a Nutburger (as D.ooce's husband would say). So if you're lurking and have even the tiniest inclination to follow my humble blog abode, help me back away from the ledge and hit FOLLOW! Thanks, dude.

***Post Edit***

A couple things - I was moderating comments from my iPhone and my ham hands accidentally checked "reject" instead of "publish" so if you don't see your comment (Vaso and someone else) thanks for commenting and I'm sorry I accidentally rejected it!

And second, thanks so much for getting me out of my follower slump! Fist pump! You do realize though, that now I am going to obsess until I reach 50 nifty. ;)

No one's been electrocuted yet, so things can only get better.

That's what Mr. K said tonight after Piglet poured my fresh (and oh so tasty) can of Hansen's Key Lime soda onto one of our live power strips. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the current state of Maison Piglet.

So anyway, um, it's been almost another two weeks (hanging head in shame). I swear that I won't become one of those bloggers that abandons my blog *just because* I had babies. I mean, big friggin' deal, right? Just two whole lives (three if you count Piglet) that are completely reliant on me for nourishment, nurturing and all care? Seriously. Those other bloggers are such slackers.

The things that have occurred to me lately as I wander through my days in a fog?

1) Piglet is ENORMOUS. I mean, when did he get so freaking huge? When I'm changing his diaper on the changing table, I swear I might as well be lifting Mr. K up there and wiping HIS ass. Btw, in case you are wondering, Mr. K thinks the coolness of the wipes could be very pleasant. Also, he would enjoy smelling fresh as a daisy.

2) Twins are still awesome. However, the fact that there are, you know, TWO of them, plus a toddler around, means that I am *always* busy taking care of one or all of them. I am never without a baby to care for. Subsequently, I eat my meals, type this blog entry, fold laundry and perform various other tasks with one hand. Or sometimes, my toes. In fact, at times, the things I'm able to accomplish purely through the the use of my big and second toes (and relatively freakish flexibility) make me wish someone was around to witness my resourcefulness.

3) More than ever, I realize that Mr. K is not good at multitasking. Case in point.

Me: Babe, can you take those bins up to the playroom, move that chair back to the dining room and throw the stuff that's in the washing machine into the dryer?

Mr. K: {Walks around in circles for approximately 1.3 minutes, goes upstairs empty handed.}

Me: {Three minutes later when I realize that the bins are still here, the chair has not been returned to the dining room and Mr. K is nowhere in sight.} DUDE!!! Where are you? What are you dooooooooing?!

Mr. K: Say what? I'M SETTING UP OUR PASSWORD MANAGER!

Me: DUDE! I asked you to do those three things! You haven't done ANY of them!!!! Arghhhhhh!!!!

Mr. K: BABE! I'll do it! I just...hold on...give me a sec...jeez, I *swear* you don't appreciate the things I do for our family!!!

Me: I WOULD except I'm too busy doing the things I asked YOU TO DO.

Fortunately we lurv each other or else, well, let's just leave it at that.

4) More than ever, I realize that Mr. K is one hell of a dad. He loves our kids and is amazingly good at caring for all three of them at once. So much so, that I actually get a solo outing about once a week, even if it's just to Target.

5) When short on sleep, my brain works best in list format. Notice that my last three blog entries have all been lists. Bear with me?

6) Three kids later, the perfectionist in me is still alive and kicking. Despite protests and people saying "just let the house go..." it just isn't in me. What IS in me is an abundance of Clorox spray and stainless steel cleaner. My closet is a house of horrors, but when you live in yoga pants it doesn't really matter whether you pick them up off the carpet or find them neatly folded in a drawer.

7) Getting out of the house with three kids in tow isn't really as crazy or as daunting as it sounds. Yes, it can take two hours to organize and yes, we often take half the house with us, but right now the babies are easy and Piglet loves going on adventures so we get out as much as the schedule allows.

8) Divide and conquer. Words to live by when you have multiples and a toddler.

Last but not least, when in doubt (or unable to form any more grammatically correct sentences), POST MORE PICTURES!

Eek...

It's me! I'm still here! I didn't abandon you my bloggy friends!

It's just that I am so busy changing, feeding, loving and staring at my three little boy wonders. And after I'm done

Changing.

Feeding.

Loving

And staring at them, I

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Snort.

Wha?

Who?

Sorry.

But know that I think about you and this blog *every day* and I worry that you won't forgive me, or worse, you'll STOP READING.

Gasp!

So here I am, after a nearly two week absence, making like Tiger and asking for redemption.

What better way to win you all over again than a list of the top things uttered at Maison Kim lately.

Ready?

1. "Oh P is awake, wait, that's G, wait, hold on, which baby, oh CRAP."

2. 8:00 p.m. Monday night -- "It's NOT the hormones, that is so annoying that you keep saying it's my hormones. It's not the hormones, it's YOU. Hmmph!"

8:00 a.m. Tuesday morning -- "Dude, sorry about last night. Raging hormones"

3. "What do you mean 'Why are you crying?' POSTPARTUM HORMONES. GOOGLE IT."

4. "Piglet, be gentle, oops carrrrreful, the baby doesn't like it when you pull his head like that. Eh, whatever, we've got a spare."

5. "You're my prize cow! Can I enter you into a 4H competition?"

6. Me: "Dude. 10:30 p.m. isn't really am optimum bedtime for a two year-old."

Mr. K: "Oh crap! It's after 10:00?!"

7. "I LOVE MY iPAD."

8. "I want another baby..."

9. "Great! I hope you and your new husband are very happy together and enjoy your fourth child!"

10. "I'm so glad we have three little boys."

"Me too."

There are many more posts knocking around in my head, but when I sit down to write, I forget what I wanted to write about. As my friend Carrie said, right now, I'm just flying by the seat of my yoga pants.